Monday, October 28, 2013

Meatrotica

Firstly, I apologize for this. Really. Truly.

What I intended to write as a prompt based on a love letter to an inanimate object took a rather pornographic turn. So I went with it.

You have been warned!

Dear T-bone Steak

My mouth is starting to water already, just thinking about you.  Your grilled perfection excites me to no end.  I remember when we first met, on the back porch that warm, muggy summer night. The frogs at the pond were just starting to sing and the sky was a fiery red.  The smell of the swimming pool filled my nose when suddenly your musk wafted over from the grill.

My pulse quickened as I took in your scent. Sizzling, my father presented you to me on a reinforced paper plate. I watched with eager anticipation as your juices mingled with the baked potato, coloring its white flesh red.

Ill never forget that first bite.

My molars delighted in your tender chewiness.  My canine teeth happily shredded you, rejoicing that for this purpose they had evolved.  So consumed with you I was that I forgot about the fresh green salad.  In fact, I forgot about green things entirely.  You were my universe.  On planet t-bone steak there is no sorrow, no salad, only salty, juicy, masticatory satisfaction.

I admit, sometimes when I cant have you I eat chicken.  Its mealiness is no match for the jaw pushups that are you.

I lift you off the plate, taking your tenderloin into my mouth. Like a velociraptor I devour your satisfying flesh, tearing every last shred of meat off your sublime bone.  I am transported to the beginning of time, in my cave, pounding my chest with delight at my first primordial taste of you by the fire.

Sometimes, when I lift my head out of your pink feast, I wonder if others notice my wild eyed delight as I shamelessly, single mindedly consume you.  Its only when my dining companions stare that  I realize the aftermath of our union covers my face.  Yes, that is steak all over my face.  Sensing their jealousy I slowly lick my fingers, enjoying your lingering taste and reluctantly wipe my mouth, chin and nose.

I am always disappointed when our encounters end but the tasty morsels lodged between my teeth help me look forward to our next meating.